All Mirror, No Window
You see them clearly.
You can diagnose exactly what's going wrong. The habits holding them back. The mistakes they're making. The gaps between where they are and where they want to be.
You reflect this back to them with precision. They nod. They agree. They see it too.
And they stay stuck.
This is the Mirror problem: awareness isn't transformation. Seeing where you are doesn't automatically create movement.
Why Mirrors Don't Transform
A mirror shows you your current position without showing you why to move.
Diagnosis can be demoralizing. "Here's everything wrong with what you're doing" is accurate but heavy. Without a vision of what's possible, the mirror just confirms inadequacy.
Mirrors also create analysis paralysis. Once you see all the problems, which one do you address first? The person you're coaching now has a list of gaps and no sense of priority.
And mirrors can feel like judgment. Even when you're being descriptive rather than prescriptive, reflection can land as criticism. The person becomes defensive, and the awareness doesn't translate into change.
You're showing them where they are without showing them where to go.
What Mirrors Plus Windows Looks Like
The Mirror becomes transformational when paired with a Window.
- Show what's possible before diagnosing. Open with the destination. Let them see something worth moving toward. Then mirror their current position. The gap becomes a journey rather than a judgment.
- Prioritize. Don't show them every problem. Show them the one thing that would make the biggest difference right now. One clear reflection is more useful than a hall of mirrors.
- Reflect strengths, not just gaps. What are they doing that's already working? Where are they closer than they think? The mirror should show assets as well as deficits.
- Make the reflection actionable. Don't just diagnose—prescribe. "Here's what I see. Here's what you could try. Here's what might happen if you do."
The Mirror locates. The Window inspires. Transformation requires both.